When I was in 2nd grade, I was stuck in a corner for participating too much. This character flaw has followed me all my life. My ex told me people didn’t like me because I shared my thoughts too much, and I just got feedback from my boss about the same thing.
The thing is, I’ve tried to stop my whole life. I only participate maybe 10% of the time, and I generally try to let others speak first unless no one is speaking up. But I’m still getting this feedback. I’m like a bull in a china shop, knocking down everyone no matter how careful I try to be.
The only solution I can come up with is to assume no one wants to hear from me and disengage. Stop caring, stop thinking, and stop participating altogether. I already feel isolated from everyone. This is just making it worse. I think I have to face the fact that I’m not welcome in any degree.
Any other ideas?
Thank you. You really put a lot of thought into this comment and I appreciate it. I’ve thought about what you describe, and it’s definitely possible, but I don’t think it’s likely. Often a few minutes after I share my point, someone else will make the exact same point in essentially the same way or even more directly, and it’s taken just fine.
What you suggest is pretty much how I couch things. I make crazy effort to sound as if my point is someone else’s idea, or to lead them to my point in much the way of your example. These are meetings in which we are all supposed to participate and give feedback. But if I slip up to any degree of directness, it’s taken badly, even when others speak just as or much more directly without issue.