By “party”, I mean a physical social gathering of people for the purposes of having fun. It may be used in a sentence as “I am throwing a party!” or “Let’s party!”.
Basically what I am trying to say is the default “party”.
I’ve never been to any, and I have no idea how people spend their time on parties, so I am curious how you did.
It sucks.
The hoods and cloaks are claustrophobic and hot. They don’t serve any food. There’s a lot of chanting and singing in Latin.
Everyone has to do this choreographed routine involving raising their arms at the right time and marching to different places and standing still.
You aren’t allowed to talk or anything, unless you’re running the shindig.
It’s basically a bunch of that until the goat gets sacrificed, and then at least one of the members will have some sort of seizure or something, and it’s overly dramatic.
It’s kind of cool when the dude spontaneously catches on fire until they start walking between the acolytes and giving their ‘blessing.’
Then there’s the week of lost time afterwards where you have no idea what your body is being used for, or even which entity is using it. Almost got fired one time for that.
And you’re bound to ruin a few outfits with random blood stains, tears, dirt marks.
3/10.
Sometimes we get to eat part of the goat though, but it’s raw. So I guess that kind of makes up for the no food.
It’s a social gathering. Of a specific group of people. The difference between a party, and a group lunch, is basically the time frames, and a more curated group of people tend to go to a party. Whereas a lunch tends to be who’s available.
Parties tend to be some celebration, which is a human social norm, but really the reason for the party is less important than the social interaction. Humans need periodic social contact to maintain relationships, and parties are a good avenue for that.
There’s a whole spectrum of parties, there’s dance parties, there’s drug parties, there’s alcohol parties, there’s board game parties, there’s beer parties, there’s dinner parties, there’s anything. Any form of human social engagement could be a party.
Just think of parties as a way to maintain your social standing, and refresh relationship status, with a group of related people at once. So it’s very efficient in that regard.
Since I didn’t see any responses that directly answered the question of what do you DO, I’ve prepared a short guide for a generic social gathering. This guide may be inappropriate in some contexts such as a dinner party or event/tv show watching party, etcetera:
- Show up
- Not at the exact start time, but at a minimum of 15-20 minutes “late”
- Bringing an unopened bottle of wine or a 6-pack of beer, or another drink of choice is almost always a classy move.
- If you drove, don’t park like an asshole. Consider the neighbors.
- If you’re standing on the doorstep and you can hear music, it’s probably safe to just walk in (make sure you’re at the right place!). Otherwise, knock/ring doorbell.
- Party!
- Get yourself a drink and/or a plate of food if snacks are out
- Find friends and say hi! You should probably know at least one other person. How else would you have been invited?
- Explore! Hosts expect people in their house so it’s generally okay to look around, admire artwork, investigate the music, go into the backyard, etc. Don’t go anywhere that’s obviously closed off, unlit, or otherwise not a party locale.
- Talk and socialize. Meet new people! Ask your friend(s) to introduce you to their friend(s). Lightly eavesdrop on convos for something interesting you can talk about. Listen in general. Ask people what they like to do. Share stories about yourself! Pro tip: the length of your stories should be proportional to how well you know the person you’re telling it to. Just met the person? Suuuuper short stories. “No way! That reminds me of the time my cat was in the bathroom when she got hit by a car! The vet said she was very lucky to have a good friend!” (Confession: I used autocomplete to write that story)
- Dance!
- Find the host and complement their place, the party, the music, food, whatever. Just be nice. Offer to help if they look at all stressed.
- Play party games like beer pong or whatever.
- Leave! Say thanks. Take your stuff. Cleanup whatever plates/glasses you’ve used. Don’t drive drunk. Don’t overstay your welcome.
This was probably too much info. I have insomnia. I hope someone reads this.
You basically hide in the kitchen with the other kitchen hiding people until the party ends, particularly when someone in the living room picks up an acoustic guitar.
This is what you do when you’re invited to a party where you either just know the host or are a +1.
You can either walk around and talk to people (most people are receptive to being spoken to) or nervously hold your drink in hand, as you wait for someone to approach you.
Personally I prefer the former. If I’m by myself I just look for someone who seems nervous and uncomfortable. I’m friendly, and as long as I’m in a good mood I tend to make people feel comfortable around me- but I have had times where I just stand there. Standing and waiting is highly unpleasant. Better to hide in the bathroom if that’s what you’ll be doing instead of chatting. Highly recommend chatting or “mingling”
(If someone is lame, boring or seems uninterested, just approach someone else. Most groups will also make a space for you if you approach them in the event that there are no loners)
This part is hard but you need to push yourself through it. The worst thing that can happen is that no conversation develops and you have to do it again.
Another favorite of mine is walking around to see what different groups are talking about. If there’s a topic that you know about, just ask them if that’s indeed the topic of the conversation and if it is, you just joined.
People say “party” but really it is an awkward conversation generator. Unpleasant.
I get bored easily, so I bring instruments and play along with the music or the other musicians. Or, increasingly, I am the music.
I also bring my spindle, or my sewing. Or I stand around the kitchen helping with the food. Find a thing you do well, whether it is barbecuing skewers on the hotplate or pouring drinks, and then it will be a thing to do with your hands making for less awkward. Be helpful. And don’t get too drunk because drunk people aren’t as awesome as they think they are.
Most just talk to people
Most of the parties I go to are typically just chatting and drinking/smoking. Good way to meet new people that likely have similar interests to you, since everybody there already has at least one common connection, usually. Activities will depend on the friend group. Some of my get-togethers will have a light-hearted board game, sometimes everyone will watch a movie and riff on it MST3K-style, sometimes we’ll just get high and bitch to each other about work.
Personally, I don’t really go to parties where there’s music or dancing, since that’s not really my scene. But sometimes the mood will just be right and someone may crank up some tunes and start moving.
It really varies depending on your personal circles. If you’re invited and feeling anxious about it, just go with no expectations. Just show up, hang out, chat a bit, and feel things out. If you decide you don’t like it, you can always just leave, and usually nobody’s gonna care.
We usually eat variety of food (some classic party foods like chips but often also cheeses, hand made appetizers brought by guests and some main cooked by the host), enjoy boardgames and chat. That’s about it.
If you’ve ever been to a festival or fair, think of it as a miniature version of that. It’s mostly just a hangout for people to do fun things they wouldn’t do everyday, since they feel the day is exceptional.
I think stay home and get drunk by yourself. It’s the only way to guarantee you won’t say something slightly embarrassing and then dwell on it for the next week
