lack of curiosity
That’s a big one. Also lack of hobbies or passions.
How they treat people who disagree with them politically. If they immediately hate/cut off people for political disagreements, we’re not going to be friends any deeper than surface level.
Eh it depends on how wrong they are. Perpetuating hate speech? I’m going to cut you off and tell you that you are wrong. Actual politics though, I’ll have a conversation.
What if they hate/cut off fascists though?
I know a lot of people who are close friends with BJP fans and I always thought that was fucking weird
What if they call anyone who disagrees with their ideology a fascist? Then they’re just a bully.
It depends on who you view as facist. If you think anyone conservative is facist, we’re not going to be close friends. I’m not a conservative, but I am rational, so I understand the idea that all conservatives are facist is an extreme view, and actually a pretty facist way of thinking in itself.
I’m not sure who BJP is, do you mean Jordan Peterson (JBP, I think are his initials)? If so, we don’t agree on what a facist is, and yeah, if you’re someone who views people through such an extreme lense, we’re just not a good friend match.
Doesn’t speak a language I know.
Not being kind to people in the service industry.
Someone who identifies very closely with hustle & grind culture. Someone who claims a personal brand. Someone who kisses up and kicks down.
- Belief in nonsense, such as astrology
- Celebrity worship
- Excessive social media usage, especially Twitter
you’re on lemmy
That they vetted me
Being “vetted” by them…
Maybe you don’t like the wording, but everyone does this. Unless you know if someone will be a close friend the moment you lay eyes on them, or are friends with literally everyone you’ve spent time with.
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Then it’s unconscious. Hopefully the criteria are ones you’d agree with if they were conscious.
For real this seems like a major red flag.
Inability to follow instructions. Lack of problem solving skills. No common sense.
Refusing to participate in a civil discussion, but instead resorting to ad hominem (attacking the person not the argument) or refusing to consider the other sides argument. If they do this any minor dispute will escalate to a flame war.
Gossiping about other people. Venting is fine, but when you start pointing out weird random unflattering traits from people we know just to giggled I just lose interest
If they talk bad about other people, especially if you don’t know the would-be friend very well. If they’ll bad mouth other people to you they’re gonna bad mouth you to other people.
If they treat service workers poorly, that’s already a red flag for me. Even if the service is disappointing somehow, being an asshole to them is still a red flag to me.
Listens to pop music
Almost forgot this place is filled with redditors
I’d go with people who refuse to admit to listening to pop music and/or center their entire personality around a music genre. I like jazz, I like classical and more, but I find the weird superiority complex specifically punk/rock/metal listeners have towards pop music very, very and I mean VERY cringe. This said, fuck Swifties, the woman alone is murdering the planet with how much she flies for no apparent reason.
- Serious belief in pseudosciences
- Conspiracy theorist
- Right-wing ideology
- Sex prude
