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Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!
Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!
Somebody grab the Neosporin, we got a sick burn over here!
That’s the spirit!
The nice thing about being a pessimist is that you are always either right, or pleasantly surprised.
“It’s a moo point. Like a cow’s opinion, you know, it just doesn’t matter.”
I was trying to think how this could be enforced. It actually makes sense when you frame it this way, didn’t think about the parent side. “Sorry Karen, that’s the law! Your kid week get her phone back in a week!”
October 2025 me: what the hell, why didn’t anyone tell me about this before!?!
Someone recently told me they bought a “vintage truck”. I asked them what year the truck was made, expecting something from the 60’s or so…but apparently 1985 is vintage now. 😟
Ah, I see you have studied and understand the complexities of corporate finance. Well done, let’s give our CEO a 2,000% raise to celebrate!
-Corporate board somewhere, probably
Sadly, none of us have been elected to office.
At least it looks like he knows where claws should work…on the post and not the couch! 😂
A wild Mitch Hedberg appears! Have my updoot.
It’s here to stay…for only $3.99 per month! *
*cost for monthly subscription only. Excludes fees for sending and receiving messages. Chat and others services extra.
Anyone want to take a bet, this is where we will be in 5 years?
Your honor, I’m not responsible for the petabytes of pirated content that my computer downloaded!
Tangintiblly
I really appreciate this post. Thank you!
Hey, low QA crap isn’t a fair assessment. I recently bought something that had absolutely NO QA behind it.
Upgrade to the ultra deluxe ad free premium plus platinum subscription for an additional $3.99 per month and you can unlock the remote wipe package too!
Shrimp.
A friend pointed out to me that shrimp are basically the cockroaches of the sea. They just float around and eat fish poop all day. So gross and I can’t even.