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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Braces on adults are common enough that most people don’t care. There are options like Invisalign, ceramic or clear braces, and lingual braces (brackets behind the teeth) that you can ask about. If you work somewhere with a strict dress code you might want to stick to clear and white colored rubber bands, too. Though outside of that, people still won’t care and colored rubber bands are cute.




  • If it’s a big company then keep your ear to the ground, find out if there’s another team or department you’d like to work in, and talk about it with your manager. Be patient. Big companies have a lot of benefits and it might be worth waiting for a position to open up.

    If you really want to work somewhere else then apply outside of work hours, don’t just quit. It’s easier to find a job when you already have one.





  • My father’s a narcissist and my family waves it away. I’m fine with LC, he’s not, so I guess sooner or later it’ll turn into NC. It’s frustrating. He wants a relationship and says he’s willing to try, but he’s incapable of accepting any reality where he’s done something wrong or hurt someone. I’ve spent years trying to think of the magic words that would fix things but there’s no way around it.

    As a person it’s made me more conscious of people’s limits. There’s a will on both sides for us, but we’re each limited in our own ways. I can’t be as tolerant as the rest of my family and he won’t be able to make progress without therapy that he doesn’t even realize he needs.



    • Participate. Comment, post, mod, support the software, make tools to help new users, donate to instance providers, write blog posts, review apps, whatever you’re interested in and can do. Don’t force yourself too hard cause this is still supposed to be fun and nobody benefits from burnout.
    • BE KIND. The more of a wholesome, open community we can create, the better. Don’t feed the trolls. Report and move on.
    • If you’re on other social media, maybe include a link to lemmy somewhere. Cross post lemmy posts, that kind of thing. PR never hurts. Try to stay away from “Lemmy army” kind of posts cause that usually pushes people away more than inviting them in.

    All this being said, I’m not sure Lemmy is new-user friendly enough to expand quickly right now. I want my technology illiterate grandma to be able to sign up and use it without help. It’s been amazing to join and be a part of this community. Like a lot of others I came here after Reddit API changes and I’ve loved seeing Lemmy grow.


  • America. Ideally you have insurance through work. Going to your PCP may be ~$50, same for specialists. Urgent care and ER will be higher, then there will be additional bills depending on what needs to be done and your insurance. Then there’s “in-network” and “out-of-network”. In-network will be covered more by insurance than out-of-network. It’s tricky for hospital stays. In my area there are doctors who are out-of-network working at in-network hospitals. So you will get 2 separate bills - one from the hospital and one from the doctor.

    Honestly it’s terrifying having an emergency because you really don’t know how much it could cost. Most insurance plans have a max out of pocket. One number for the individual, one for the family. The lowest I’ve seen is $2k/$6k while the highest was ~$16k/30k. I’m in a LCOL city though. Max or of pocket is the maximum you should ever have to pay for a single year. You will almost definitely hit this if you have a baby or need more than a couple days in a hospital.

    For people with low income there are sometimes assistance programs at hospitals. One common outcome is you go into a payment plan and maybe years later your remaining debt is forgiven. The payment plans can be very cheap. I’ve heard of $25/mo. Still it’s probably for a bill that’s in the thousands if not 5 or 6 digits.

    If you don’t have insurance through work you can buy your own insurance but many people just wing it. Most hospitals will charge less when there is no insurance to bill. Maybe 1/3 what they would charge insurance. This will still be in the 4-6 digit range. So you go into a payment plan, or maybe there’s additional financial assistance from the hospital, or you just ignore the bill and take the credit hit when it goes to collections.

    There are programs through the government, Medicare and Medicaid. They cover quite a lot but if you’re under 65 then I believe you have to be disabled to qualify.

    The quality of care is generally high though, so that’s cool.



  • “I won’t be available that day but I will make a donation to XYZ Org that helped my aunt when she had breast cancer.”

    Don’t try to educate how Susan G Komen is awful, that’s tricky to keep professional and might be a losing battle. Instead educate about awesome charities that do good work. If you’re asked to donate to both, then really lean into how much your aunt loves this other charity over G Komen.

    You can also kill them with kindness by thanking them for the reminder if they still don’t leave. Extra points if they’re super aggressive, ask if the company will match your donation :)






  • My family makes chicken broth from scratch. The recipe is boiling a whole chicken with veggies in a large pot for forever. Strain before eating.

    I remember as a young child I was sick with something and couldn’t seem to throw up whatever was making me ill. My mother made the broth, then gave me a bowl… unstrained. The sight of bones, gristle, and fat lumps was too much for me and I immediately threw up (and felt a lot better!). For decades I felt guilty about this until finally my mom told me it was intentional. Still laugh thinking about it. I love my mom and the broth, but I eat it strained now.