funbreaker

Esperanto. it’s not the statisically-average best lingua franca but it’s the best known that’s not tied to a single nation. Plus Hitler and Stalin both hated it.

Yeah, OP’s partner just straight up not being in the mood will be the bigger roadblock. Hard to be when you’re in pain/stuck with diarrhea/upset at everything/fatigued/ hangry/any of the above.

There’s no inherent risks (besides STIs but that’s a worry for sex in general), but she’ll have to remove any tampon or menstrual cup she’s using. https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/sex-during-periods You will also have to think about cleanup.

Jerky, mixed nuts, and M&Ms.

Birch beer and ginger beer. Both non-alcoholic.

When Rocket Fizz had a location here, I tried a ton of stuff but those were my favorites.

But we had to program the computer for it to be able to do math in the first place?