And I could beat the shit out of a 6 month old baby, so I think I’m fine.

What are the odds of this? How do people deny a creator!?

I didn’t get any. :( Can someone share their extras? Redistribute fallopian tubes!

Nope. Sorry. Nobody has any idea what you’re talking about. Like is the username buying something at a store or…!?

I don’t know, but I need a cigarette. Hope it was good for you, too.

Best I ever tried was probably a roasted pumpkin soup with roasted pumpkin seeds, but the place is gone now.

I love good She Crab soup, lobster/crab bisque, and loaded potato.

If you really want one that gets everyone in the room singing:

I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys

El Sonidito also a solid choice.

Maybe if Carol could just accept a damn apology to start with.

Paranoid schizophrenia is so hot right now.

We can call it the NHL. Perfect!

Iced breve latte (latte with half and half instead of milk)

Cherry Coke Zero

Whatever good beer is on sale

Nearly Half of Americans Disapprove of Ongoing Purges

Let me ask you this: when you pump gas, do you stop on an even dollar amount?

Honestly, you should try, if only to learn how many ways they have us by the balls.

Proton Glass, please?

I used to think they would Excel.

Why were you on a date with your uncle to begin with?

Yeah, but I rarely fill up all the way regardless.

Be careful at places like Target and Walmart with their cameras. Target is no joke and supposedly lets you get away with it right up until you cross the limit for arrest/a serious charge.