- cross-posted to:
- programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
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Depression.
The end result of a programmer’s work is depression.
As a system admin… Same.
No, a programmer’s reason for existence is to bring me the butter…
Which of course I haven’t received yet.
They keep promising it will be delivered next week or so for the past 5 years.
You got your butter. But first it wasn’t “green enough,” then you yelled at us when you found out it was made from cow milk because we should have known you wanted butter from bat milk, and after that it was inedible because it was wrapped in wax paper and you insisted on aluminium, and when we went into production you had us destroy an entire production run so you could print randomized Bible verses directly on every stick of butter, but then the text was the same shade as green butter so you had everyone start over again, and you haven’t paid anyone in weeks.
Tap for spoiler
This is all hyperbole, in the event that wasn’t obvious.
It puts food on your table so you don’t fucking starve, you little unappreciative shit.
My kid seems to get the connection between my job and our accommodations, but they’d still rather I play with them.
They once introduced me to a teacher by saying “this is my dad. He likes working. And money!”
The (quite young, probably barely in her twenties) teacher considered this for a moment, then said “well… I guess my parents do, too.”
You should explain to the little ones that your boss wants a certain amount of work every week, and if he doesn’t get it, he’ll get mad and won’t give you any money at all
They get the idea. They can even explain it back to me (though they’re as likely to say that the money is for toys as they are to say, for example, food).
They just know what they’d prefer over me working.
Someone needs a hug
Cool it?
An architect’s building can last several hundred years. A programmers genius logic becomes obsolete in three years.
And the fools rushed code is still there a decade later…
You nailed it.
I have some perl code still good after ~20 years. Personal accounting and bill prediction, command line with todo comments about a never made web interface
Except when it doesn’t. Then it becomes https://xkcd.com/2347/
Oh, I’ve got awful code from 20+ years ago still in mine.
Don’t worry there’ll be a company in 2095 that still using it. They’re always is someone.
That’s okay. The company is set to go IPO in two.
That’s what’s always amused me about the “code re-use” imperative. I started my career with Visual Basic 3 – what good could anything I wrote back then possibly do me today?
I work at a multi-bilion dollar company that would crash to a halt if our Cobol + assembly language Unisys system written in the 80s went offline. It’s hard to predict what will become difficult to replace, but some code has extraordinary staying power.
I wrote a web app circa 2001 (Visual Basic 6 and Classic ASP) that is still in use. Unremarkable except that this app was a graphical UI front end atop a clunky mainframe app from the 1970s. The fact that my app is still running means this mainframe app is still running.
Tell that to leftpad.
A slight, but crucial reordering of electrons.
Rearranging entropy by moving heat from one place to somewhere else.
I’m a fire wizard??
Eh, it’s more like electromancy, but… yes.
“Minus 400 lines of code created today.”
“That’s less than nothing, kiddo ;)”
‘Bugs.’
And maybe some features as a side effect.
Sure, ‘features’… And then everyone clapped…
And nobody was unhappy that you estimated 3 sprints but took 12
You know those illustrated story books for children?
The ones with cute anthropomorphized animals going about their jobs in a fairytale animal society, posting letters and walking kids across the street and fixing cars in the garage?
If you can’t accurately depict yourself doing your job as a drawing in one of those books, it’s not a real job.
(I’m also a programmer, by the way…)
Dog hammering away at keyboard, in the other side off the wall an ATM is now working or a plane safely lands.
Am also a dev.
For real that standard just requires people be creative
Isn’t everyone on lemmy?
I was reading one of those books to my kid once and there was a pig butcher. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to work in the lore of the book. Was he some halliburlector type or was he actually just a butcher. How deep does the analogue go?
I feel like that’s almost a macabre in-joke to the adults involved
I always thought those old scratch-n-sniff books were a better analogy. Scratch my code and smell the shit.
One day I was thinking of Andy Warhol’s film “Empire”, which is basically one continuous 8 hour shot of the Empire State Building.
I thought it’d be cool to make a similar art film about your average programmer’s work day. 8 hour shot of a programmer staring at the screen intensely, drinking coffee, scrolling through the code, and occasionally muttering “why the fuck doesn’t this work?”
ooooooohhhh… so that’s the point of “Empire” ? showing the stark immobility of the nevralgic/symbolic center of Earth’s most powerful military empire ?
I never saw the film, tbh. Maybe it would have stricken me
Well it’s an art film. The purpose of art is to evoke emotions, to inspire dialogue. Yours is one possible interpretation. Ultimately, who’s to say it’s not valid?
That’s quite non-committal… of course art is supposed to evoke emotions… but that’s not getting me anywhere I wasn’t already… I was asking about the artist’s intent
You have stumbled into an art-philosophy debate that’s centuries old and will never end.
No I mean specifically this artwork, this author, not art in general. Am a professional artist myself so I have some notion what this debate entails, but I was curious about the specifics of this film
Ambiguity is often part of the intent.
I worked from home for a few years. The Pornhub sessions would need to be edited out.
Severance ?
I feel like this needs to be one of those tshirts from old facebook ads that is like a skeleton riding a motorcycle. “I’m a programmer, that means I’m a machine that turns tea into nothing.”
I always liked “my body is a machine that turns childhood trauma into profits for the pharmaceutical industry.”
Who,.that’s the next mother’s day gift sorted then.
Don’t know about you guys but I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and it ain’t for nothing.
im a machine that turns cold beer into warm piss
The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures.
- Frederick Brooks
“My dad does a programmer.”
Perchance the mother is also a programmer
“I did a programming… at the program factory.”
A professional programmer f… wow that is a job?
Well they don’t usually f… Exclusively programmers, but professionals do exist, yes.
As i understand it and what is interesting to me, is that they f… A programmer, not programmers and that exclusively and professionally.
Hmm, true. That is a curious job. I think it’s called programmer’s spouse.
They usually don’t do it professionally.
That sounds very unprofessional.
Yeah once i realized that nothing lasts very long in it, it started to feel like a pointless job. But it makes good money. But in the end, its just new frameworks and languages to learn forever so you never feel like you actually are an expert at anything.
Networking is a good field though. If you are an expert in networking and devops, it really helps with a lot of troubleshooting and networking so you can easily run a homelab. Those skills actually last and are useful every day.
I cant bring myself to be interested in Ai though. Im just not excited about training models.
I feel sorry for 1990s people doing my job. When they moved a paper process to a highly automated IT solution they halved our workforce. When we do the same we get people moved to more valuable work
Government IT is rewarding but is also so dependent on political processes.
Yea… Tho I’d argue that’s true of most jobs nowadays. Nothing, or somehow less than. Joining the work force has been a very depressing experience so far. Any ambition of learning and or contributing getting annihilated. It’s a compromise that allows me to have a roof and food at the end of the month without living at my parents.
- software
- other software
- more software
- software
Have you tried coffee?
