Fart into my cupped hand while making (and not breaking eye contact) and proceed to “throw” it in the interviewers general direction. (Extra points if you can do this with a straight face)
“All professional decisions I make come down to a simple question: what would Marx do”
I’ve had 4 interviews since June where I withdrew myself from consideration in the middle of an interview. I didn’t bomb; just decided the company wasn’t for me.
You can always just say “I don’t think this is the right fit, I would like to withdrawal from consideration but thank you for your time.”
Shortest interview was about 4 minutes, not quite 30 seconds, but it would have been about 30 seconds if he showed up on time. When a CTO shows up late, wearing a t-shirt from their home office while I’m interviewing for a 100% on site role, that’s business casual attire; I’m not even wasting my time talking to this dude.
I’m autistic, trans and chronically ill.
Do you have gluten free food in the cafeteria? I can’t have more than 4 people around me at any given time. Where’s the toilet for non gendered people?
Should just about do it I suppose.
Hahaha right! Wanna blow it just tell them they will have to accomidate your basic needs.
“Thanks for your time, but this job isn’t for me. I wish you good luck finding your candidate, though.”
Repeat everything the interviewer says back to them in Yosemite Sam’s voice, but punctuate every sentence with “bitch!”
“Here’s my card. If you wouldn’t mind signing it and giving it back to me, we just need 30% to get a vote on forming a union.”
Blow a job. Remove the a. Instant fail and a felony.
Congratulations! You got the job!
can’t rape the willing!
I’m guaranteed failure if I go clam diving though.
Instructions unclear, dyslexia made me blow the job interviewer.
task failed successfully
i mean it depends what the job is for
Just tell the interviewer how great their feet look.
What? Thats easy?
“Hi what’s your name?”
“Suck yo grandpas wrinkley wang on a Wednesday!” And walk out. Done.
That’s a weird name.
Just keep trying as hard as I can
“Didn’t I see you in (name of local odd hangout, like a gay bar or something)?”
It’s definitely possible. That’s one of my favorite spots! Small world!
Try to set up the interviewer with my friend “who isn’t as bad as they say”
“Why do you want this job/to work here?” “I’m just looking for something interesting to do for a while, get out of the house a bit. This sounds interesting enough.”
They hear: I don’t need a job, I may not need money, I may already have a job, I’m not picky about where I work so I’m probably not planning to stay, I’m likely to be weird or high maintenance, I’m very likely to move on quickly if I’m no longer entertained, and most importantly, I don’t need this specific job so I won’t take abuse of any sort.
This does work to land food service jobs, though, because they don’t really care. They gain and lose staff so frequently that if you just aren’t a complete shitshow you’ll get the job.
